I hate humidity. It’s worse than vegan bacon. Below is a conversation I had with a tour guide on a sweltering trip to Thailand.
Tour guide: Buddhism is rooted in three principles: suffering, impermanence, and the here and now. Does that make sense?
Me: Let me see if I understand. Right here and now it’s 128 degrees and I’m suffering. And it’s not going to be permanent because you are going to end the tour soon and take us to a cool, dry place.
Tour guide: That about captures it. But before we go I want to show you the reclining Buddha. Do you know why he is reclining?
Me: Heat stroke.
Tour guide: No. He’s dying.
Me: I don’t want to appear insensitive but I’m dying.
Tour guide: You super funny.
Me: So we’ve seen the Golden Buddha, the Emerald Buddha, and now the Reclining Buddha. When do we get to see the Ice Bucket Challenge Buddha or the Air Conditioning Buddha?