My latest discussion with Pete.
Me: The water department called today.
Pete: Oh yeah? What did they say?
Me: They asked me if we were running a water park.
Pete: That’s a strange question.
Me: Not when you take into consideration we consumed 11,000 cubic feet of water last month.
Pete: Is that a lot?
Me: That’s like 88,000 gallons of water. In one month.
Pete: That doesn’t seem so bad.
Me: That’s like 5 swimming pools.
Pete: Above or in-ground?
Me: Maybe we should cut back on watering the lawn.
Pete: I want green grass.
Me: Shorter showers?
Pete: I have back issues. The hot water helps.
Me: Okay, but I’m probably going to have to start selling myself on Craigslist to pay for the water bill.
Pete: Do you think you’ll be able to generate enough revenue? At your age?
Me: I hate you.