Embarrassing Autocorrects

I was having dinner with a few friends on Friday night and I asked one of them to help me identify a bird I had seen earlier in the week. She was a bird enthusiast and possessed a wealth of knowledge about local fowl.

“It was small and white,” I said. “Sort of like a compact duck.”

“All white?”

“With a black stripe on its face,” I replied.

“No clue. I’d google it.”

I retrieved my iPhone from my coat pocket and googled what I thought was white ducks of Rhode Island.

While I waited for my search results to appear, our waitress approached and leaned in to take my drink order. She stopped short, caught a glimpse of my phone’s screen and burst into an uncontrollable giggle. I looked down at my iPhone and was met with roughly a dozen images of penises in various states of repose.

My iPhone autocorrected duck to dick.

Normally, I would have felt the need to explain and thus dig a deeper hole but this time I looked directly at the waitress and said, “We’re trying to agree on my Timber profile pic. Did you happen to spot a favorite?”

Her response was priceless. “Dicks really aren’t my thing. I’m swiping left.”




5 thoughts on “Embarrassing Autocorrects

  1. LOL. Coudn’t be more silly than sending off a message to a friend that says “you are so busy”.

    What reached her was “you are so b*st” insert the vowel that often replaces the second pronoun you. ugh! Yes, i do hate auto-correct.
    But the response of the waitress was indeed priceless.
    B-T-W, why did the real app name have to be replaced with Timber. Would they have been offended ? 😛


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